Tag Archives: AWP

I went to a house party in Portland with strangers…?

I did the first leg shaving of spring today, and I feel glorious.

Last week I was in Portland for several days for the AWP conference. I took Amtrak by myself and stayed at an Airbnb by myself (for a couple days, until V joined me). The conference itself was good, I learned some helpful things, and it was nice to just be in the company of so many writers.

Initially when I’d been creating my schedule of sessions I wanted to attend, I was a little disappointed by how few names of presenters/panelists I recognized. Where was Roxane Gay, Celeste Ng, Lindy West, Samantha Irby? I mean, they’re all super successful, so I don’t know why I thought they would deign to be at a conference in Portland. But I was pleasantly surprised by so many people I wasn’t previously familiar with. Only a couple of sessions featured an author I knew, but at each one of them I discovered several new writers to follow and learn from. It made me realize that there are actually a lot of ways to be a successful writer, and the NYT Bestseller List (just as an example) isn’t necessarily the end-all, be-all. Similarly, at the conference’s book fair, I realized that there is an incredible number of small presses out there – meaning Simon & Schuster, Random House, et al are not the only games in town. Of course they are the most well-known and can probably provide the biggest book advances, but they aren’t the only options when looking to get an agent and publish a book. That’s still a ways off for me, but it was a cool thing to discover.

You know it was a struggle for me to be social at a thing like this. It really, really was. After a very hectic and overwhelming Day 1 on Thursday, I stayed in and didn’t go to any of the offsite events or parties that were happening, though I followed them on Twitter and berated myself for sitting in the Airbnb and watching Selling Sunset. So on Friday night I told myself I would go somewhere. I ended up at a bar where two literary websites were both celebrating their 10th anniversaries, and where I knew a few of the writers I Twitter-stalk would be. The first hour or so was rough, for partly this reason:

awp bar

Honestly, how is this supposed to work? I couldn’t decide if the sign was meant to be sarcastic or not because literally how else do you get a drink at a crowded bar. Lines make the world a semi-civilized place. So of course it was anarchy. But eventually I got my vodka lemonade, and on round two, a vodka cranberry. I’m nothing if not predictable at the bar.

I didn’t talk to anyone and no one talked to me for that first hour. I was annoyed about it and decided to avail myself of the chocolate cake on the premises, going outside to sit on a picnic table alone among several twosomes and threesomes and foursomes having gay old times. A girl who looked about my age was also sitting by herself, and so after awhile my two drinks had given me that blessed “ah, fuck it” courage to invite her to sit with me and chat. Reader, you should be so proud of me. We had a great chat and I ended up following her and a few of her friends to a “house party” of sorts in southeast Portland, where I played soccer in the backyard with a 4-year-old child before V arrived in town to whisk me away. It was the kind of weird little adventure I haven’t had in so so many years.

So it was a good trip.

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I’m terrible at segues.

***

One of my best friends was diagnosed last week with a brain tumor. She’s having surgery tomorrow for it to be removed. I’m going home to be with her in a couple of weeks, dates TBD. She’s strong. She’s brave. We have every reason to be optimistic, and I am. Just also at an entire loss for words. She’s my sister in every sense of the word, always one of my biggest cheerleaders. So I’m going to be hers.

What I’m Reading:

  • One of those lesser-known authors I discovered at AWP was Tyrese Coleman, and I finished her How To Sit in one…sitting (sorry). It was breathtaking.
  • Now onto one I’ve been meaning to get to for awhile after hearing it recommended on one of my favorite podcasts, Keep It: King Leopold’s Ghost.

What I’m Watching:

  • Tonight we finished season 4 of Schitt’s Creek. I simply can’t recommend it highly enough. Everyone in it is a fucking genius. We don’t deserve Catherine O’Hara. Or Eugene Levy. Or Dan Levy. Or Annie Murphy.

david schitts creek

What I’m Looking Forward To:

  • Game of Thrones returning in a couple weeks
  • Avengers: Endgame, obvs
  • V and I are going to take a road trip at the end of April (Vancouver, Banff, Montana) and we’ve planned so little of it, on purpose, to just go and explore do whatever we like.

Brain tabs

I’ve had the same four tabs open on my Chromebook since New Years Day. A GQ article on the HBO show Succession, which I want to try watching but V doesn’t so it has languished; NPR’s Best Books of 2018 monster list, which I’m still picking my way through; a slideshow from Redbook called “25 Solo Vacations For Women“; and a spreadsheet tracking my paltry 2018 income for tax purposes. I just closed that one, because our taxes are done now, but I don’t want to close any of the others, because in my mind closing a tab = closing the subject in my brain. My brain is very literal like that.

The solo trip keeps getting postponed. Not officially, because I’ve made zero decisions or plans for it, but every time I apply for a Real Job (which I am still doing, albeit not terribly often), I think about how I need to get my ass in gear already because what if I do get a Real Job? Then I’m back in the weeds of vacation days and PTO and out-of-office emails, which are currently, blessedly irrelevant to me. I just need to pick a place and a time and make the damn plans, but I think I am subconsciously a little anxious about it. I would’ve done it already if I wasn’t. I’m not overly concerned about safety – I worry more about like, if I’ll be bored. But if I make enough plans, that shouldn’t happen. I just need to go somewhere that has a lot to see and do.

Two weekends ago, we spontaneously did a 24-hour Portland trip. I am, of course, going there again at the end of this month for #AWP19 (Association of Writing Programs 2019 conference), and that is sort of going to be my baby step solo trip. I’m taking Amtrak (a first!) down there on a Wednesday, doing the conference Thurs-Sat, and V is going to drive down to join me Friday night or Saturday morning. So it’s a half-solo trip, I guess. That will be a trial run. But I think the conference will keep me plenty busy so there’s not much danger of getting bored. Anyway, our little 24-hour trip was a good introduction to the city. Portland and Seattle seem to have a weird sibling-rivalry relationship that as a PNW outsider, I don’t fully understand, but I think it’s sort of like Madison and Milwaukee. Places that attract similar people; places that have a major influence on the rest of the state, which the rest of the state is not very happy about; places that are a lot more alike than they are different, leading to inevitable comparisons – I see some parallels. We didn’t see much of the city outside downtown, but there were some very pretty views of Mt. Hood. Not quite comparable to the views we have here of Mt. Rainier and the Cascades…like, everywhere you look…but that’s my Seattle bias.

portland seattle meme
I imagine it is something like this.

What I’m Reading:

  • I finished two books this week: “The Byline Bible” by Susan Shapiro and “Leaving the Witness” by Amber Scorah. I won’t get into the latter, because I actually want to pitch a review of it to Ploughshares, but I did receive an ARC (advanced readers copy) and let me tell you, I feel VERY important. The Byline Bible was great freelancing advice. If anyone is qualified to give it, it’s Susan Shapiro – she’s been published every-damn-where. I learned a lot and wisely bought it instead of getting it from the library, so I can refer back to it as needed.
  • I’m now reading Stephanie Land’s “Maid” and I’m less than 100 pages in but GOD, it’s heartbreaking. The book is about a single mom doing odd jobs to make ends meet, barely escaping homelessness, for herself and her daughter. The author’s own family of origin isn’t exactly the focus, but I learned enough to once again be extremely grateful for the healthy and loving family environment I grew up in. I don’t know what it’s like to live without a safety net, and I have so much admiration for people who persevere and beat the odds. Not a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of moralistic story, but simply people with difficult backgrounds overcoming them and blazing their own trail.

What I’m Watching:

  • I watched the first half of Leaving Neverland, and don’t know if I can bring myself to watch the second half. It is extremely rough viewing.
  • Captain Marvel was sooo good! I’m still working on forgiving Brie Larson for Basmati Blues, but we’re getting there.

What I’m Eating:

  • Dinner tonight is probably naan pizza. I’m trying to be good; I bought the wheat naan at QFC.

What I’m Writing:

  • Or perhaps more accurately, What I’m Getting Published. I do have a new piece in the March issue of BRAVA (page 23 in the digital magazine). Fingers and toes and arms and legs crossed for something else soon.

Extras:

  • We won $0.61 each on HQ last night! Because V is a Game of Thrones encyclopedia.
  • I have rose gold-ish hair again!

rose gold hair