I started watching Maid on Netflix, because I loved the book a few years ago. I remembered it as an inspiring memoir of a single mom who worked incredibly hard at a really shitty job, so that she and her daughter could be okay. And that’s basically what it is. But I don’t know if it’s the really good acting or if I’m just a lot more sensitive than I used to be – and I have always been VERY SENSITIVE! – but I couldn’t really take it. I turned it off as the daughter was having a tantrum in the car because she lost her doll, and the mom had just been told she had to go back and finish a cleaning job because the client was unhappy with it, and she’s got like literally $2 to her name, and she hasn’t eaten all day, and she’s homeless, because her daughter’s father is a violent alcoholic. Like…that’s just so much shit. Just one of those things would be hard enough on its own.
Ever since Ashwin was born I’ve had a really hard time watching anything where children are endangered or in any kind of bad situation. It completely stresses me out, which is the opposite of what I’m looking for when I watch TV or movies. I never thought I’d be someone who didn’t want to watch something because it was “too violent” – like, that just makes me think of a very square little Victorian lady with delicate sensibilities.
I know that the plot of Maid is real life for a lot of people, because this country seems to believe that any kind of real safety net is socialism. I’ve read so many books to that effect, so much investigative journalism and muckraking about the innumerable ills of our world: racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, tax cheats, bad schools, an increasingly shitty environment, xenophobia, crumbling infrastructure.
But honestly? My daily life is pretty distant from most of that. My privileges have sheltered me. So to turn away from something like Maid, something that’s hard but very real, feels to me like I’m copping out. If other people have to live it, I should at a minimum be able to bear witness. That’s the literal least I can do. Lately though, I just can’t – not without going down a really dark rabbit hole in my psyche. I’m using my privilege to shield me from things I find simply too sad, because I have that luxury.
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We’ve started house-hunting. Yes, I know how the market is. Yes, I am anxious about it. No, we’re not going to keep renting. We are somehow going to buy a home in the next few months, come hell or high water. We at least know some things from our first home-buying rodeo: namely, that corner houses are the worst November through March, kitchens are a big deal, and yard maintenance is an evil time suck best left to professionals.
What I’m Reading:
Most recently finished “The Heart’s Invisible Furies” by John Boyne. It’s basically the life story of a gay Irishman born in the 1940s or 1950s, when gay was absolutely 10000% not an okay thing to be or even speak of. It’s a beautiful story with a perfect happy ending.
Now I’ve started “You Got Anything Stronger?” by Gabrielle Union, because Gabrielle Union is one of those celebrities I’m weirdly fascinated by and I just like her.
What I’m Watching:
We finally finished Veep, which had THE BEST finale episode of any TV show I know. Now we’re catching up on Brooklyn Nine Nine (kind of dropping in quality as it ends) and Ted Lasso (brilliant, every week).
What I’m Listening To:
Random songs from mix CDs of decades past.
What I’m Looking Forward To:
More fall color. Actual fall weather.
Sconnie Molly 