20-shine-teen, let’s do this

*Big hug from me to you if you get the title reference.

What can you even say about 2018 that hasn’t already been said?

First of all, I suppose I can address a personal failing: I did not meet my Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 70 books. I managed 57, which is definitely lower than most recent years. But…I kind of had some other shit going on? I’d like to say my count was lower because I read a bunch of really long, Serious Books, but that wouldn’t be true. I was just busy.

Busy doing what, Molly? YOU HAVEN’T EVEN HAD A FULL TIME JOB FOR OVER A YEAR NOW.

Well, that is correct. But I have nonetheless had a fulfilling year…

I visited France in February, Door County in May, India in July, and Seattle a couple times in July and August before the move.

I helped out Sabrina Madison for awhile in the spring, pitching in to organize the Black Women’s Leadership Conference and other Progress Center for Black Women initiatives. She is a brilliant dynamo and exactly what the city of Madison needs.

I was given the opportunity to begin contributing to BRAVA Magazine and have had three pieces published so far, with one hopefully coming soon. I framed the first story and my first check from them and it’s on the wall in our living room right in front of the chair I sit in to write.

When a bunch of dumbass Baraboo boys made international news for being dumbass racists, I was fucking mad, and wrote about it for Refinery29. As shitty as that whole situation was and is, the article is probably my proudest accomplishment of the year.

I took a few writing classes at Seattle’s Hugo House that definitely improved my skills and introduced me to a vibrant community of talented local wordsmiths.

I maintained another year of vegetarianism and welcomed V to the meatless tribe, though the credit for that really goes to his mother and not me.

I bought a *lot* of books, despite there being no more bookshelf space in our apartment, and despite my flirtation with minimalism that occurred post-move.

Yeah, I moved. I moved to the West Coast, to a city I’d vacationed in twice but didn’t really know that well, because my husband got the kind of job opportunity that you don’t turn down. Even though we’d bought a house just two years ago, and probably 85% of all the people we loved in the world were in Wisconsin or the greater Midwest, and we loved Madison…we took the chance, and I’m glad we did. If we hadn’t, I know we’d be wondering What If and kicking ourselves for being too chickenshit to make a change. Seattle is sometimes amazing and sometimes bleak, but honestly, so is Madison – so is pretty much everywhere.

I haven’t actually discussed this on Facebook or anything yet, but a month or so ago I started walking dogs with Wag. It began to seem kind of like a no-brainer: I was always going for walks, and swooning over dogs wherever we went, and Seattle literally has more dogs than children, and I wanted to earn a little money again without going back to a 9-5. It’s been…interesting! Largely positive. I love that I get to do it whenever I want to, and never when I don’t want to. I’ve met a lot of adorable puppers and some real characters among them – an elderly blind and deaf terrier named Oliver who refused to let me put on his sweater when it was pouring rain; a sorta sharpei/pug mix named Wally who puked three times and had diarrhea once on our first walk; a nervous little Maltese boy named Henry who was deathly afraid of the black tiles in his building’s lobby and required being carried over them. And I’ve found a few favorites that I try to walk whenever they show up on the app.

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As it’s been over a year now since losing my job, I have begun to get slightly more comfortable with the idea that I do not have to have a 9-5 full time job to be a Worthwhile and/or Normal Person. There are lots of ways to live life. I’m not saying I’ll never have one again – I really hope I do, if only for my retirement’s sake, Jesus – but I’m working through all my ~feelings~ surrounding being pretty much the only non-parent I know that doesn’t have full time employment.

Ah yes, the non-parent thing. Infertility has remained an unwelcome presence in our lives. My body thus far stubbornly refuses to get pregnant naturally or…technologically. I don’t remember how many cycles of IUI we did in 2018, but we are taking a different path in 2019. As much as I wanted to avoid it, our best option at this point appears to be in vitro fertilization, which we will probably begin in the spring. More on that to come later, surely.

Let’s talk about 2019. I have goals.

  1. Take a solo trip, or trips. I sort of have one planned – AWP in Portland in March – but V is joining me there after the conference is over so I’m not sure it totally counts. Regardless, I’m going to do that and I’d like to plan another.
  2. Begin and maintain a yoga practice. Maybe just once a week, but regularly.
  3. Buy less stuff.
  4. Eat less dairy and less sugar. Notice I said “eat less” not “eliminate”…I’m just not ready to do that and I don’t want to set myself up for failure. But I don’t think my body appreciates my very very frequent consumption of those two things, and it has been letting me know via new bouts of cystic acne and digestive pain! I don’t know how I’m going to measure this, exactly. I already track my meals and stuff with the Fitbit app, but it’s not really set up for anything but a basic food diary. Suggestions welcomed.
  5. Pitch at least one piece every month.
  6. Go somewhere warm and sunny in the spring when Seattle Bleakness reaches its grayest apex.

A lot of people are annoyingly too cool for the ritual of setting goals at the beginning of a calendar year – as if it is somehow news to those of us who participate that January 1st is entirely arbitrary and calendars are arbitrary and time is meaningless. It’s as good a time as any to set new goals. I enjoy it, and I like seeing other people do it too.

The 2018 Nagappala Book Awards

I wanna do a 2018 roundup post too, but first things first: the glorious year-end book superlatives you’ve come to know and love, the Nagappala Book Awards – also known, of course, starting now, as the NBAs.

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(As always, these are books I read in 2018, not necessarily books published in 2018.)

Favorite Fiction:

  1. Children of Blood and Bone, by Tomi Adeyemi. As I wrote already, I had low expectations going in with this one because it’s pretty outside my usual genres. Sometimes that pays off though, and this is definitely a case in point. It’s YA, but not like “kiddie” YA – there’s violence and like, a little heavy petting. It was cool to read a fantasy book centered in Africa, with an all-African main cast of characters, in a story with heavy tribal folklore themes. We just don’t get much of that in the US book market.
  2. An American Marriage, by Tayari Jones. This is an Oprah’s Book Club pick, but don’t let that color your impression too much one way or the other. It’s just a really solid novel: a young black couple with everything going for them, wrenched apart by a wrongful conviction that sends the husband to prison for several years, and what happens when people who love each other have to live separate lives. You hear a fair amount these days (though really, still not enough) about the racism that permeates our criminal justice system and you get kind of a fresh perspective on that here.
  3. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, by Jenny Han. TATBILB, of course, was adapted into a crazy popular Netflix movie this fall and I found it one of those rare occasions where the movie lived up to the book. Guys, it’s just so fucking cute. It is literally the perfect antidote to everything that sucked about 2018. I admit that I am semi-embarrassed that 2 of my top 3 favorite fictions this year are YA, but it was just that kind of year.

Favorite Nonfiction:

  1. Educated, by Tara Westover. This is at the top of a *lot* of people’s 2018 lists and I hate to be such a sheep but…it’s just that good, okay? Tara Westover’s story is really unlike any I’d ever read. There’s definitely strong Mormon fundamentalism in her family, but there have been a lot of books in that vein; this is different, it just goes in a lot of other weirder and less expected directions. Her determination and grit is something to behold.
  2. Bad Stories, by Steve Almond. I took a Hugo House class with Steve Almond this fall, which was incredible (partly because Marie Semple was also in it, and we were a group of only like 10 people, and she told me that she used to write episodes of 90210! It was a very big day for me). I picked up this book at Elliott Bay shortly after the class and I recommend it to anyone who feels the need to mentally parse out the whys of the 2016 presidential election. There was Russian interference, yes, we know now, but it was also the bad stories that we have been telling ourselves as a country for hundreds of years. Stories about who belongs here and who doesn’t; what jobs are worthy of respect; what a leader of the US should be like. It’s not long but it says a hell of a lot.
  3. The Heart Is A Shifting Sea: Love And Marriage In Mumbai, by Elizabeth Flock. This is the kind of journalism that just blows my mind. Elizabeth Flock sort of embedded with these three married couples in Mumbai over a period of years. The access she got is just insane. Who wants to tell a stranger the most intimate details of their marriage, especially when that stranger is going to write a goddamn book about it all? So all of that is impressive on its own, but each couple is a fascinating portrait of modern relationships in India (at least, in India’s version of Los Angeles).

Most Disappointing Fiction:

  1. The Spy, by Paulo Coelho. Mata Hari is a super interesting historical figure, but this imagining of her life just fell way flat for me. Coelho’s style also just may not be to my taste. Pretty cover art, though.

Most Disappointing Nonfiction:

  1. Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood. Memoirs about bizarre family members can be hit or miss. Probably no one does it better than David Sedaris. Augusten Burroughs also has some damn memorable relatives. In Priestdaddy, Patricia Lockwood’s dad is on the eccentric side – a rare married-with-kids Catholic priest who likes to walk around semi-naked and talk about guns – but he’s no Sharon or Amy Sedaris. Take away the priesthood and her father is not terribly dissimilar from a lot of midwestern dads. Again, just didn’t do it for me.

The One I Wish I’d Written:

  1. All The Lives I Want, by Alana Massey. God, this was brilliant. A book of essays on famous women by whom the culture at large is fascinated or disgusted or in awe: Anna Nicole Smith, Nicki Minaj, Scarlett Johansson, and many more. This is one I need to reread to absorb as much as I can for my future work because Alana Massey writes like how I want to.

Most Obnoxious:

  1. Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, by Cheryl Strayed. I have also mentioned this before, but I’m not a member of the Cheryl Strayed fan club. The thing about her is that, while this is a book of advice columns, aka people asking for help with their problems, Cheryl Strayed always makes it about Cheryl Strayed. Somebody wants help with getting over a lost lover? Cheryl Strayed has been there. Oh God, has she been there. Cheryl Strayed went through the same thing once when she was coked up out of her mind on a dirty hotel floor with a guy she just met on the highway. And now she’s gonna tell you all about it and make the last two paragraphs of the column semi-relevant to your issue. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk shit about other writers. But you can’t like everybody and it’s not personal.

Most Pure Uncomplicated Fun:

  1. Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple. So like I said, I met Maria Semple earlier this year, but I didn’t even know who she was at the time. The name sort of rang a bell but I didn’t put it together with this very popular novel. Anyway, I really enjoyed WYGB, and not just because it’s set in literally my very own neighborhood in Seattle. Queen Anne culture is satirized to hell and back and it is wickedly funny.
  2. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AND P.S. I Still Love You, by Jenny Han. That’s right, the original and the sequel. I still need to read the third. I wasn’t convinced that the magic could be replicated but it’s really just as good as TATBILB. They are both the equivalent of a fuzzy bathrobe and big bowl of ice cream (without the tummy ache).

Did you hate the ones I loved? Loved the ones I hated? Want to set me straight on how fabulous Cheryl Strayed really is? Let me know, friends. My 2018 reflections are gonna have to wait until January 1st. I have more wine to drink and more Parks & Rec to watch.

new years 2018