I’m going to write about TV again! I’m on a roll. Someone pay me to write about TV please.
I’m getting caught up on Queen Sugar, now that season 5 is streaming on Hulu. Season 5 originally aired in the spring of this year, but of course we are cord-cutting millennials, so I had to wait for it to stream. I didn’t realize that they were going to…actually include the pandemic in their storytelling world. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
I’m only through episode 2, which is set in mid-March 2020, right at the beginning of it all. Folks are aware of the coronavirus as something happening in other parts of the world, and even in Seattle, but they don’t think it will come for them – until everything starts shutting down and they realize that’s an absurd fantasy, because it’s a virus, and viruses like to travel. The ominous vibe is really unsettling! This was only a year and a half ago but it’s seared in my brain forever, as I’m sure it is for most of us: hearing about it, reading about it, initially thinking it was nothing to worry about, then slowly, every day, getting more scary information that indicated something unprecedented was about to happen. (I mean yes, pandemics certainly are precedented, but you know what I mean goddammit.)
We’d *just* brought Ashwin home from 30-odd days in the NICU. My mom had gone back to Wisconsin and V’s mom had *just* arrived to stay with us. I was so, so scared. My death anxiety cranked up to 11. I literally believed we were all going to die. The government’s advice kept changing – which is obviously natural, given how science works, as they learned more about COVID, but it just had the effect of terrifying everyone and making us Clorox our cereal boxes and leaving our Amazon packages outside for days on end to “decontaminate” or something.
We were vigilant. In those first few months, which were our last in Seattle, we didn’t go anywhere. I think the last place we went before the lockdown began was our favorite donut place in Queen Anne, Top Pot on West Galer by the library. After that, we took walks around the neighborhood but absolutely nothing else. And there was nowhere to go, anyway. Instacart was indispensable. We were three adults stuck in a 750 square foot apartment, watching Netflix and playing cards and cooking every meal and caring for a temperamental infant. We had no idea when it was going to end, when we could go back to normal.
What I’m saying is, there was just so much fear. Fear had never been such a dominating part of my life. Anxiety, sure, obviously, but this feeling of utter, unending terror was really unfamiliar. It was our constant companion in that apartment, every day and every night. And I’m not enjoying my favorite soap opera dredging all that back up.
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The house hunt continues. We’ve gone to see 6 or 7 houses so far, all with their own merits and demerits, none that were clearly right for us. I’m questioning every single priority item that we told our realtor; maybe we *should* give in to the suburbs?? Is a split-level home *really* the worst?? Maybe we *do* need a new-ish house??? Who the hell knows.
What I’m Reading
What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, by Aubrey Gordon. Aubrey Gordon co-hosts one of my favorite podcasts, Maintenance Phase, which has challenged many of my long-held beliefs about weight loss and general health/wellness. I highly recommend it – the book and the podcast, but especially the podcast.
What I’m Watching
Besides Queen Sugar – Succession, of course. We rewatched season 2 last week in preparation for the season 3 premiere, which I’m very glad we did, and now we’re sinking our teeth into the Roy family’s foibles once again. God, if ever there was an illustration of what happens when you don’t give children an unconditionally loving and stable and grounded upbringing, it’s this show.
What I’m Fuming About
Oh, a lot. Today I’m angry about voter suppression laws that have made it harder to engage in democracy in large swathes of the country. I’m always angry about abortion law chicanery. And it’s always a good time to be pissed at anti-vaxxers, especially ones charged with protecting the public!!
Sconnie Molly 