Author Archives: sconniemolly

Why are you reading this, go watch Nanette.

We did apartment-hunting in Seattle over the weekend and it was fun, exhausting, surreal, weird. We had a rental car for the weekend and driving into the city from the airport, V mentioned that one reason it felt so odd is that we hardly ever drive ourselves around when we’re in a different city…if we’re visiting family, obviously they drive, and if we’re on vacation we Uber or take public transportation. Maneuvering our way to the hotel and then to a drugstore and then back to the hotel was…an adventure in and of itself. Their downtown has a lot of one-way streets, like Madison’s, but on a larger scale. I don’t think we’ll drive too much once we move unless we really have to. The apartments we looked at (10 in all) were all shiny and mostly new and amenity-filled and clearly very much catering to our particular demographic. I’m already feeling some guilt associated with being one of Those People in Seattle.

Honestly, all I really want is for us to find a good apartment in a good area and for us and our kitty to make it there unscathed and adjust as smoothly as possible. And uh, a job would be nice too…or at least steadier freelance work. I’ve got to start hustling, that’s the only way freelancers make it. I’m still anxious about everything, but I am also starting to feel more like this is very much the right thing for us right now, and that it will be good. If it turns out not to be, it’s not undoable. I always like knowing I have an emergency exit plan, even if I won’t need it.

seattle meme
looking forward to figuring out what the Spokane part even means

I had my last appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday, the same one I’ve been seeing for twelve years. TWELVE YEARS, man. I came to her when I was 20, fresh off a terrible breakup and not sleeping and feeling miserable. She helped me see that the breakup was actually quite a good thing. She guided me through many subsequent years of experimenting with different medications to treat my anxiety and depression. She was a constant in my life when I badly needed stability. She did talk therapy with me even though that’s not really what she normally does and normally she meets with younger adolescents but she kept me all these years anyway. Yesterday we talked about the upcoming move and about how I’ve changed since we first met. She said she could see that I’ve become a lot more calm and peaceful. Which I would partly attribute to medication, and partly to internal work I’ve done, and partly to the people around me who help me stay sane. But really…I wish every person in the world had access to this kind of care, and it bums me out that mental health still isn’t taken as seriously as it should be.

If I ever do write a book, she’s going to be prominently named in my Acknowledgments.

What I’m Reading:

  • I’m in the middle of “There There” by Tommy Orange, which has been getting praise every which way lately from people whose tastes I respect. I think I’m doing it wrong though – I like it so far, but I’m reading it on my Kindle, and that method of reading makes it difficult to go back and refresh one’s memory about who’s who and what happened when. In a story like this with intertwined characters, that is challenging. And I’ve been reading it in such small random intervals. For this book, I think a hard copy would have been a lot better.

What I’m Watching:

  • Uh, duh: Nanette. You’ve heard about Nanette, right? OK so it’s a Netflix stand-up special from an Australian comedy named Hannah Gadsby. I love a good stand-up, and Hannah is definitely funny, but this is unlike any other stand-up I’ve ever seen. She mixes humor with some really fucking raw and powerful personal stories about growing up as a lesbian in a conservative region of Australia. It’s a sorely needed perspective and brilliantly put together. Her pain is so visceral and visible. You wonder how anyone could hate her for being “different”. Homophobia really is a mindfuck and LGBT folks themselves are not immune to internalizing it the way we all have; Hannah suffered from it very much,  “soaking in self-hate”. Anyway. I highly highly encourage you to watch it, all of it.

nanette

  • I miss Queer Eye so much. I need constant new episodes. Following the guys on Instagram is fun and all but I need MORE.

What I’m fuming about:

  • Oh, the usual. I haven’t read up very much yet on new SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh but from what I know, it’s pretty much as bad or worse as we feared it would be.
  • White people are on a hell of a roll lately being idiotic and racist. (I guess by “lately” I mean that lately a lot of it has been caught on video.) There was #PermitPatty, there was #BBQBecky, then #PoolPatrolPaul. Now today I learned of this dude who harassed a woman in a park for wearing a shirt with the Puerto Rican flag. (He was clearly not aware that Puerto Rico is part of the US.) There are cops *right there*, and the woman repeatedly asks them for assistance, only to be essentially ignored. The guy was almost certainly drunk and she had every reason to be fearful. One of the things he said was “you’re not gonna change us”. Which felt pretty chilling to me.

idk about you, but i’m feeling 32

It was my birthday a few days ago and I was lucky enough to celebrate with a whole lot of family and friends.

I had so much fucking fun, you guys.

I don’t understand people who dislike birthdays. They say it’s “depressing” because you’re “getting older” or whatever. Like…yes, but also…so??? Isn’t getting older vastly better than the alternative? Don’t you realize you are *lucky* to be getting older? My birthday is possibly the least depressing day of the year. Last night was certainly one of my best nights of the year thus far. Sure, we’re not 22 anymore, but there’s no stasis in this life. Onward, I say. Celebrate being alive and being loved whenever possible, and what better excuse than a birthday?

My life is not exactly what I thought it would be at 32. I guess most obviously, I thought I’d be a mom by now. But it’s not time yet, apparently. And I love my life the way it is.

Moving day (actual date TBD) draws nearer. The house will be going on the market soon; there’s already a sign in the yard. It’s very very surreal.

What I’m reading:

  • I just finished “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. It wasn’t anything earth shattering, philosophy-wise, but worth it nonetheless as a reminder to organize life’s priorities appropriately.

What I’m watching:

  • I’m almost done with season 2 of Queen Sugar. Kofi Siriboe is breaking my heart.
  • We saw Uncle Drew a couple nights ago and we two former basketball kids loved seeing Shaq, Reggie Miller, Nate Robinson, Lisa Leslie, et al play super geriatric. If only Michael could’ve been persuaded to participate.

What I’m fuming about:

  • Jesus, where to begin. I was really freaked out, for lack of a better word, by Justice Anthony Kennedy’s retirement announcement. If anyone ever previously considered him to be a friend of progress and women’s rights and LGBT rights and just good things in general, surely they’ve now been disabused of that notion. I just can’t believe he would choose to retire NOW. I haven’t read much yet of the whisperings regarding his son and some Trump financial dealings, so maybe that was a factor, or maybe not, I don’t know. I only know that Roe v. Wade is in serious peril and if it is indeed overturned, women. Are. Going. To. Die. Because you don’t ever outlaw abortion; you only outlaw safe abortion. And Roe is far from the only matter affected. This is going to touch everything from the environment to immigration to education to foreign affairs to campaign finance to gerrymandering to…you get the picture. Really dark stuff.
  • The World Cup, here and there. Soccer is not really my jam normally and I still can’t pay attention to a full 90 minute match, but I can appreciate the drama and interesting storylines. If Russia wins though I may never watch again.

A Tolerable Quinoa Recipe

Now how’s that for some clickbait? I am really getting the hang of this.

I decided to take a bit of a break from moaning about the vicissitudes of my life to share with you one of the very few acceptable quinoa recipes I know. As you probably are aware, I don’t like quinoa that much. I almost never order it at restaurants and I really only cook it when I know I’ve been eating too many brownies/cookies/chips. So this is what I eat to detox from all that magnificent joyful sugar. Done properly, it’s not TOO much of a drag. It’s also vegan and gluten-free, if those are things you care about.

The original recipe is called One Pot Tandoori Quinoa but I am not going to call it that because, as the author admits, it makes absolutely no sense. No tandoori oven is present here. This is a one pot on the stove recipe. So I will call it…

One Pot Indian-Spiced Quinoa

Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp olive or coconut oil
  • 1 cup diced sweet potatoes (not too big)
  • 1/2 dices red or yellow onion (I used yellow)
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • 1 tbsp minced fresh ginger (I didn’t have fresh and had to use dried; that’s life, man)
  • 2 tbsp garam masala
  • 1 cup uncooked quinoa
  • 1 1/4 cup (ish) vegetable stock
  • 1 15 oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed (I actually didn’t have any and just went without)
  • 1 14 oz can diced tomatoes
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • S&P to taste

Instructions

  • Pour oil into a large skillet and wait for it to warm. Once it’s hot, add sweet potatoes and stir.
  • You want to cook them for 5-10 minutes, depending on how small or large you diced them; smaller obviously doesn’t take as long.
  • Once they’re a little softer, add onions and stir. Add the spices and stir some more.
  • Add in quinoa, tomatoes, chickpeas, sugar, and vegetable stock. Bring it to a boil before lowering the heat and covering to let it simmer. It should take 20 or so minutes for the quinoa to cook and everything to come together.
  • Serve and congratulate yourself on being so impressively healthy. You are an earth goddess. You are fitness personified. Your glow is blinding.

Spices are pretty important here in order to avoid a totally bland end result, so be generous with your garam masala and anything else you choose to include.

It’s good rainy day food. It’s a good pre-brownie appetizer. 😉

Curveball…

I have news.

You know how I’ve been unemployed for like…kind of awhile now?

A couple months ago I was feeling angry and bitter about it and I told V that maybe I would have better luck finding a job somewhere else; maybe Madison is too small, maybe my reputation has been maligned so much that nobody here will hire me. I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself exactly, just trying to look at the situation realistically. So V, being the supportive partner that he is, started looking elsewhere for a job of his own. Over the last two months he’s had a lot of semi-stressful interviews with a lot of different companies kind of all over the place. Then Amazon invited him for an in-person interview in Seattle a couple weeks ago; we went. They offered him a pretty sweet job and he took it and…we are moving to Seattle.

seattle-state-map
holy shit

Still having trouble recognizing that as reality, even just typing it: we are moving.

Anyone who knows me knows I love Madison and I love Wisconsin – like hello, what did I name my blog? It’s part of my identity. And I love my family and my friends almost to the point of pathology. So while this might’ve been a no-brainer opportunity for some people, it wasn’t for me. We have such roots here with my family and our friends. We have this lovely home. When we bought it two years ago, moving to another city was nowhere on our radar. We both had good jobs that we more or less enjoyed. But a lot has changed. I don’t have a job, or prospects of a job, and six months of that has worn pretty thin. Much as it pains me to say, a lady can only take so many walks.

So as I’ve told everyone that I’ve discussed this with so far, I’m a huge mixed bag of emotions. Happy, excited, proud, scared, anxious, sad, apprehensive, curious. Honestly sometimes the negative emotions have been stomping their way to the forefront more often than I’d like. In that spirit of combating that, here’s a little list of things I am looking forward to:

  • not shoveling snow
  • not having a Cold War with my neighbor over our lawn
  • being able to go to Elliott Bay Book Company ANYTIME I WANT
    • sooo many awesome lady writers from Seattle: Ijeoma Oluo, Lindy West, Jill Filipovic, Carrie Brownstein! (I’m not going to link them all to Goodreads because I’m lazy but you should read all their shit)
  • better shopping in general
  • more racial diversity (which I know Seattle is not exactly known for, but it’s certainly more diverse than here…#perspective)
  • those gorgeous views

Another time I’ll make a list of things I’m anxious about. Won’t that be fun! I can guarantee it will be highly detailed and really pathetic.

The thing is, everyone else has already done this. My parents did this (Missouri and Michigan). My closest friends did this (all over the country and all over the damn world). Hell, my brother did this (Florida). It’s usually when people are in their 20s, I guess, that they venture out to wherever they fancy. I didn’t. I don’t know exactly why I didn’t. If you’d asked me when I was 16 what the next decade of my life would hold, I certainly wouldn’t have said “only leaving Wisconsin for vacations”. I mean at 16 I had no concept of things like tuition or literally anything and thought I was going to go east for college at Sarah Lawrence (because Julia Stiles wanted to go there so bad in 10 Things I Hate About You and she was everything to me). But what I’m trying to say is, I didn’t do it then, so if I don’t now…when will I? When I’m like…retired? Silly, everyone knows millennials don’t get to retire.

It’ll be an absolutely bananas next couple of months. Definitely gonna lose my shit more than once. For sure. But I’m gonna make it.

Growing

Whew, shit has been busy.

Last week I helped out at the Black Women’s Leadership Conference, hosted by the visionary Sabrina Madison.

On Saturday I celebrated my beloved Christina’s graduation from her PhD program in Connecticut.

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These sisters are very, very special to me. In high school they let me into their family and I got the little sister I’d always wanted in Christina.  She is a brilliant, creative, extraordinarily kind, and sweet woman of whom I am just so proud. I’m sad that she’s moving back east soon, but such is the life of an academic, and I want her to thrive no matter where she happens to be.

And again/still, I have some other cool things happening that I want to talk about but can’t yet (not a pregnancy).

I did a bit of gardening today. As I explained on Facebook, “gardening” for me basically meant ripping up weeds and cleaning up a couple of piles of leaves that we neglected to rake last fall. There was one spot in particular where a lot of leaves had settled in for the winter and really made themselves at home. I cleaned that all up and now we have to reseed that part of the lawn.

I don’t know a damn thing about plants. I mean I really really don’t. I ran into my old botany professor at Christina’s graduation party, and God bless that woman for giving me a C back then, because God knows I probably did not deserve it. I can’t identify anything. When my brother came to build the mudroom closet for us a couple weekends ago, my sister-in-law kindly walked around the house with V and me and told us what each plant we had was (and what was just weeds). She even helped us pick out some pretty perennials at Home Depot, almost none of which I can recall by name now. Violas? Yarrows? *shrug emoji* This isn’t going to be like, a huge new hobby of mine, but I am trying to put a little more time and effort into the yard this year.

Now that the warmth appears to be here to stay, shit just keeps getting busier. This weekend V and I are finally going to visit Door County and hopefully take some pretty hikes and enjoy the scenery. Next weekend we will be celebrating the golden birthday of my beloved friends’ beloved daughter. The weekend after that we will be back up north, this time further, to have a big ol’ family gathering at my sister-in-law’s cabin. Then, following that, we are throwing a party for my parents’ 40th anniversary. Whew. It’s all good stuff, really fun stuff, but kind of exhausting when you think of it all at once.

These past six months have been difficult at times, mentally more than anything, because I keep having to remind myself that being un(der)employed doesn’t inherently mean anything negative about me as a person. It’s all in my own head.

Not really related to that, but also on the mental health subject – literally every day, I have to remind myself that I am a grown ass woman who can make her own valid choices without deference given to impressing, placating, or accommodating anyone else.

What I’m reading:

  • Um, actually, nothing book-wise. I finished Asymmetry, and liked it but didn’t love it. On deck are Sunburn, by Laura Lippman and possibly a rereading of Virgin by Hanne Blank.
  • This NYT article would be very interesting for any fans of Arrested Development. Reading their reckoning of the allegations against Jeffrey Tambor is…illuminating. Jason Bateman really goes to bat for Tambor in a big way.

What I’m fuming about:

  • The NFL’s shameful new national anthem policy. The league’s relationship with the military, explained well here; the owner of the Jets had an encouraging response (though why he didn’t vote against the policy, instead of abstaining, is a mystery); appropriately scorching take by The Root

What I’m watching:

  • Deadpool, last night. If you liked the first one you are sure to enjoy the second. If you didn’t, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you to stay away. But I enjoyed it. I like my superheroes self-aware and sweary (but I also like Captain America, so…the opposite too)
  • I gave up on Westworld. #sorrynotsorry

Always blogging at 10:30pm…

I’m not always good at being grateful.

I could blame American capitalism, I guess, at least in part, for always wanting *more*. Over the weekend my brother, as you may have seen on the ol’ Facebook, came over and constructed a bench/storage area for my previously terribly underperforming front closet. It’s something I’ve wanted since we bought the house two years ago. He did an amazing job. I bought him lunch and gave him all the Mountain Dew he could drink.

closet makeover.png

Then later that night, I was idly browsing one of my favorite apps, Realtor dot com. As V has applied for different jobs in different cities, I’ve used it to check out what the housing market is like in those places – whether we’d have to rent or could feasibly buy and what the neighborhoods are like, et cetera. I get very, very, very ahead of myself. So that evening I was looking around the city of Seattle, which is one that we’ve thought about a lot. Obviously Seattle real estate is just bananas, orders of magnitude out of anything V and I could afford. But I looked nonetheless.

And I truly had to stop and sit myself down, like, MOLLY. What are you doing. You are a 31 year old underemployed recovering bureaucrat, to crib from the bio you give when you pitch your writing. You are not supposed to have a picturesque Seattle Craftsman bungalow with built-in storage for days and elegant fireplaces (plural) and a claw foot tub and a Viking range and gleaming, tasteful white everything and a view of the mountains. This is not a Nancy Meyers movie. You are not Meryl Streep. Chill the fuck out and take a giant step back and look around you and be thankful, for God’s sake.

It’s very easy to achieve something or acquire something and immediately turn your focus to the next achievement or object of your desire. In some ways that’s not all bad, it’s good to strive, it’s good to have goals. Complacency is definitely not rewarded in this society. But I don’t think I take enough time to just appreciate what I already have achieved and/or acquired. My brother generously gave his time and skill to make a lovely improvement to the house that V and I already love, regardless of its imperfections. I have a home. I have family and friends who love me. I’m in a weird life space right now but I’m starting to embrace it. I’m writing (exciting things are happening that I can’t yet tell you about). I’m doing a small part to help improve outcomes for black women and girls in Wisconsin. I’m losing weight and feeling good in my body – no small feat for me. I’m meeting new people and learning new things every day, which is certainly more than I can say for any of my previous 9-to-5’s. Would it be nice to have more money? Yes. But I’m good for right now.

What I’m reading:

What I’m listening to:

What I’m watching:

  • Westworld (despite not loving how dumb it makes me feel sometimes)
  • Silicon Valley
  • The Americans (holy shit)
  • Queen Sugar (one day I’m Team Charlie, then I’m Team Nova, but I am never ever Team Remy)

What I’m eating:

  • More of those fudgy brownies I talked about before. Guys. There just are no words. I mean it. You’re not living right if you’re not eating these bad boys. (Tasty’s recipe) The recipe only makes a 9×9 pan (which I’ve done, but I’ve also used an 8×8 to increase the fudgy factor EVEN MORE) which means they will be gone like instantly, but fortunately they don’t require any bizarre ingredients and are easy to make literally any time you crave them.

Thanks, National Infertility Awareness Week; I Am Aware

Last week was National Infertility Awareness Week. This meant lots of articles in my social media feeds about the trials and tribulations of trying and failing to make a baby, a process with which I am all too familiar. It was bizarre timing; this month, we attempted IUI for the third time, and today learned it failed.

So last week I read those articles and hoped and hoped that the third time was going to be the charm. Every article I read ended with a happy result of some kind; eventual, really hard-won success in biological procreation (most commonly) or perhaps coming to terms with that just not being possible and choosing to adopt. I felt (and am still feeling) a lot of ugly feelings, stuff I’m not proud of. There were several articles or comments from women experiencing secondary infertility, that is, women who have successfully gotten pregnant and given birth once before but who are now having trouble conceiving a second time. I know it is a pain just as valid as mine, but I have trouble sympathizing. You have had A BABY. You wanted more, maybe one or two or three or God knows how many more, but it hasn’t worked out that way and I know, I know that must be a difficult and agonizing journey all its own. I just…I’m sorry. Do you know how many people would be thrilled to have what you already have?

Like I said, it’s ugly and I’m not proud.

I don’t know what’s next. Trying not to dwell, I guess. I made the fudgiest, chocolatiest brownies in the whole world today and that was truly a comforting balm. I don’t know what tomorrow’s coping mechanism will be.

03e8d12fe3626b7459637fd22b3a9458--not-having-kids-being-sad

I do like that idea.

People used to tell us a lot, back when we looked like this, that we would make such cute babies! Because you know how ape-shit people go over mixed babies. It’s a whole (problematic AF) thing. That is all really neither here nor there, I guess. Just something that makes me sad, something my silly vanity has always enjoyed thinking about.

Our doctor quoted me a slick $20,000 for one cycle of IVF. (The difference between IUI and IVF, explained.) Look. I ASK YOU. Who among us can afford that? It would have been one hell of a reach if both of us were fully employed. In our current situation it’s just a joke. I know people empty their 401(k)s and go into all kinds of debt to make this happen – and sometimes still come up empty. Imagine. Imagine throwing tens of thousands of dollars down the drain for meds that fuck you up, daily injections, tons of invasive doctor visits…to be right back where you started. A failed IUI is painful and sad, but a failed IVF? Jesus, I don’t know what I’d do.

If you are a friend on social media who is pregnant, or who has recently given birth, or just posts about your kids a lot regardless of their age – I have probably temporarily unfollowed you. Not because I don’t love you and your progeny. I really genuinely do and normally their cute pudgy messy faces are a welcome, happy sight to see in the ol’ gloom and doom of my news feeds. But not right now. Just not right now. I hope you understand.

The Chocolate Helps.

It’s been shamefully long, I know. There’s no good reason for that other than writer’s block, which I am going to attempt to kick in the ass tomorrow at this workshop. The Art + Lit Lab was where I finally got the confidence to start submitting my writing to real websites and publications, so I’m hoping the same magic will appear tomorrow and get me out of my funk.

I have been writing, a little, but not putting it here because I’m going to attempt to pitch it somewhere, someday, and generally those places like brand new original #content that you haven’t already posted on your blog, even if only 20 people read that blog. Although hey, I have faith that number could increase; I looked back at one of my earlier posts from late 2017 and saw a passing remark I made about having under 100 Twitter followers. I have over 400 now, so you know…*brushes dirt off shoulder* I’m definitely kind of a big deal.

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In other news, I’ve lost 12 pounds since Christmas. This has been virtually all due to my previously mentioned walk-taking obsession. Well, that coupled with healthyish eating, but really, I’m not depriving myself very much. I take 4-6 walks a week, usually by myself but now that it’s getting warmer, V has been more willing to accompany me. Tonight we drove to Baldwin Street, parked, and walked to Maple Bluff and looped around its various boulevards and came back; that was about 5 miles and it was delightful. Sometimes when we go on walks together we just talk, and sometimes we sync up a podcast to listen to simultaneously. Tonight we did a bit of both. Last week we did 3.5 or so miles through and around Shorewood Hills, so this week it seemed right to do its east side counterpart since V had never seen it. They’re both gorgeous of course, but when it comes to daydreaming about being Madison-rich, I think I prefer Shorewood by a hair. Not even because of the neighborhood itself but because of its surrounding environment. Shorewood has Hilldale, Whole Foods, near the west edge of campus; it’s basically bougie heaven. Maple Bluff’s area has…none of that. But they do have views of the Capitol over their side of the lake.

Oh, I’m working now. Just part-time, but hey, I’m glad for it. I’m assisting Sabrina Madison with her various projects and events through the Progress Center for Black Women, which is really exciting to be a part of. It’s definitely a good change from…previous employment.

Getting me through the days:

  • the Queer Eye guys on Instagram (Bobby, Tan, Antoni, Karamo, & JVN). I worship at the Holy Church of the Fab Five. These boys can do no wrong. They’re constantly cheering eachother on in the IG comments and I will watch/listen to them in anything. To that end…
  • JVN’s podcast Getting Curious. I think he was doing it before QE took off, but of course I only discovered it recently. He just interviews people about whatever he wants to learn more about, which is like, the dream podcast. When he interviewed Antoni was probably my favorite though and I hope he interviews the other guys at some point too.
  • discussing #InfinityWar theories with V and whoever else will listen. Look, #nospoilers, it’s just intense AF and there’s a lot to chew on. IF you’re into Marvel movies. If you’re not, this is very much not for you.
  • the wax melts Michelle sent me a few weeks ago. I haven’t gotten through them all, not even close, but they are a lovely addition to my hygge-themed living room.
  • Thai food. Been eating a lot of it lately. My aunt and uncle took us to Sala Thai last night and it was incredible.
  • also food-wise, Dove dark chocolates. I rediscovered a bag of them in a box that still holds most of my old work desk detritus. For years I’ve routinely kept bags of Dove dark chocolate squares at my desk, for obvious reasons. While I don’t have those exact stressors in my life now, I have different ones…and the chocolate helps.

The chocolate helps. And all God’s people said AMEN.

You’re So Vain

What beauty products have stood the test of time for you? Which ones do you squeeze the last drop out of and buy over and over again? What product do you love so much that you evangelize about it to your mom, your best friend, your accountant, your neighbor, the bus driver?

This is, I should say, not in any way a sponsored post, though I’m flattered you thought anyone might pay me to write about something so mundane. This is just another Molly Curiosity thing (maybe I should trademark that…) that I’m taking to the blog instead of posting directly on Facebook as I normally do. You can respond on FB, or Twitter, or here!

For me, it’s the Dove Beauty Bar for Sensitive Skin. I’ve been buying them for so long I can’t remember when I started, but it is a nonnegotiable part of my routine. I try to take it everywhere with me when I travel because I just. Do not. Feel. Clean without it. I get it in giant cases at Costco. And yes, it has to be the bar, not the body wash, because why? I don’t know, that’s just how I like it. Since it’s for “sensitive skin”, whatever that even means anymore, it’s unscented and that makes me sort of trust it more. My skin is a bit on the reactive side so I tend to prefer products without added fragrance when possible.

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I ❤ YOU I ❤ YOU I ❤ YOU

No matter how high-end/fussy the rest of my skincare routine gets (hello Soko Glam, please just create a store credit card and give me the highest possible credit limit) I always, always have to have my Dove bar. Plenty of people even use it on their face, which I absolutely do not (see: Soko Glam), but it seems to work for them. It’s economical and easy and does exactly what it’s supposed to do, nothing more and nothing less. I experiment with shampoo, makeup, vitamins, moisturizers, pretty much everything but what cleans my body in the shower. It’s boring and not very sexy and I couldn’t care less.

So please, share your own beauty loyalties with the class! We can all be vain together.

Ya Gotta Get With My Friends

I had such a beautiful afternoon with my friends today.

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Hanging out on the playground together – and of course, just being at Lynn’s house – brought back a lot of lovely memories. We’ve all been friends for so long – and plenty of others belong in this group but weren’t able to be there today. So many unique relationships and histories. In this photo, the person I’ve known the longest is Tylor (~26 years) and the person I’ve known the shortest is Arika (still a really damn solid ~12 years!). And I feel beyond lucky that my husband is as much a part of this group as anyone else.

I’m just a total sap when it comes to my friends and this is the stuff I anguish over missing if we were to move away. On the plus side – I got a lovely little letter in the mail a few days ago from Michelle, so perhaps that is evidence that the art of keeping in touch via handwritten letters could be kept alive if I did move. You’d write me, wouldn’t you?

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Needy AF in addition to being a sap. Super attractive qualities!!

Things that have been keeping me from getting too depressed lately, despite circumstances remaining depressingly the same:

  • my longer more leisurely walks
  • the Good Christian Fun and Dear Prudence podcasts
  • grown-ish on Hulu, because I’m bizarrely fascinated by it even though it’s really weird and not at all subtle; the Youths are sort of a car crash I can’t look away from
  • thinking about going to India in July
  • thinking about how much fun Paris was
  • weekly wifey dinners (or semi-weekly…we do our best)

I should take a day to force myself to do nothing but write and like, go for a walk. But because writers are ace procrastinators (and I like to call myself a Writer now), I’d end up spring cleaning the shit out of this house instead . So win/win, maybe.

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